:: May 31, 2003
Young Paul of Riverside, CA (eerily, right near my adolescent home of Corona) writes in with a cockroach killah proven effective "through extensive study, days spent at the Riverside Public Library, and extensive nights of testing and cross-testing several of our captured 'subjects.'"
"1) Buy some rosemary oil. You know the hippie oils, NOW is an okay brand and cheap too. You'll also need some castille soap, Dr. Bronner out of Escondido, CA works like a charm. Any other liquid soap will work okay. Lastly you'll need some rubbing alcohol. (It isn't 100% neccesary, but helps cut the oil)
2) Get a spray bottle. Any old spray bottle will work. Fill the bottle halfway with water.
3) Mix a healthy amount of oil in the water. Let's say, an ounce. Mix in soap. Cap and shake. Add alcohol, cap and shake.
4) Smell your mixture. It should smell like rosemary, a lot.
5) Test on roaches!
Now, we tested a lot of other oils, and rosemary is the best by far. Later on we actually found some "natural" bug spray in a hippie store with a main ingredient of rosemary! The only trick is getting your mix right, the more rosemary the better. Just put your spray bottle on "stream" and spray away! It won't chem out your couch, and it actually smells nice!"
I meant to revive the Cockroach Diaries a little early this year after a tree roach RAN UP MY PANTS while I was sitting at a cafe, studying for a test. Somehow, I held it together and didn't panic-vomit. OK, so roaches don't make me panic-vomit, but they get me about 90% there.
Thank you Paul. Though I have the feeling that me just thinking about cockroaches will make them appear. I hope your formula works on Texas roaches as well as it works on California roaches. ::
:: June 12, 2002
The Cockroach Diaries 2002
One dead. The small kind, "the ones you have to worry about." This after I read this, thinking, nah, I can't have another Cockroach Diary entry without an actual cockroach sighting. Eerily enough, friend Zach recently sympathized with my not wanting to squash cockroaches: "It's like squooshing a Cadbury Creme Egg."
Count:
Dead: 1
Alive: 0
Unknown: 1
TOTAL for 6/12/2001: 2 ::
:: May 18, 2002
The Cockroach Diaries 2002
I was half-mindedly watching an A&E show about the Astors, drinking coffee, Boutros Boutros by my side. She's been sleepbarking lately, quiet 4am barks that escalate into the doggie equivalent of panic attacks. One started right then, maybe in response to some low-level noise or shadows. Her episode passed and she nestled into my side.
I may have been looking directly at the blue loveseat already when the cockroach sauntered across it. A huge cockroach, thin, brown, and shiny, with long antennae. I said, "Oh no. NO." It seemed uncomfortable, yet it was not darting around like normal lost tree roaches. I think it was on a suicide mission to say, "HELLO! Welcome to Tree Roach Season!" I grabbed the can of dangerous chemicals from the dangerous chemicals cupboard (our only cupboard, actually) and hit it right on top of the pillow that so often cradles my loved ones' heads. It twisted and writhed and fell to the ground with sharp click. It ran and flipped around and disappeared under the big brown couch. I sent Boutros outside, away from the chemical cloud. Clearly, I can't sit on either couch for a while.
Cockroaches chill me to the core. They make me weak and snivelly. They reduce me going against my better judgment and using dangerous chemicals. Smashing them is out of the question, don't even bring it up. The phobia is so bad that I'm willing to be a complete wanker and purchase a bug vacuum. It all started a few years ago, when I woke up to one crawling over my legs. My roommate rushed in when I lept out of bed and screamed. She killed it, and told me it was just a cricket. She was kind to tell me that, but I knew the truth. In that same room, my big toe stepped on a dying, belly-up roach. The feeling of its scaly-soft underbelly imprinted deep within me when I realized what I was stepping on.
Spiders? Fine. Mice? Great. Snakes? Bring it. Cockroaches make me cry. This is a cry for help.
The count begins here.
Count:
Dead: 0
Alive: 0
Unknown: 1
TOTAL for 5/18/2001: 1 ::
:: June 6, 2001
The Cockroach Diaries #1
The first sighting this year was actually at Bryan's house -- a big fat one was in the usual spot above the AC unit when we came home from our Hill Country bike ride on April Fool's Day. There were a few more in the following weeks, but then they disappeared. I only saw a dead one or two when we moved out.
Last night, though, I went to get the last few boxes out of my old house and do the requisite cleaning so the landlord and I could get the deposit ceremony underway. There was a dead one lying belly-up on the kitchen floor. (I mopped last time. That shit's Dan's problem.) In my room, I tossed the too-old traps that had been hiding under heavy furniture and in other recesses since last summer, and wouldn't you know, just minutes later there was one crawling around in the newly-emptied closet. Mother fucker.
I went to drop a load of boxes off at the new house, and noticed a one darting across the roof of my car. It rested on the rear passenger door. I knew it was still there when I drove off, and I tried to drive fast so it'd fly off. But it didn't. It ran across the windshield when I was on the frontage road, exposing its soft underbelly to me. He was as big as my index finger. Spraying it with wiping fluid made it disappear -- hopefully, it landed on I-35, but it's possible it ducked in some crack to plot its revenge.
The count begins here.
Count:
Dead: 1
Alive: 1
Unknown: 1
TOTAL for 6/5/2001: 3 ::
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