:: August 19, 2003
"When it comes to broadcasting your philosophy of life, political opinions, or just a joke for the day, there's no better way than on a T-shirt."
Ah, so true. So true. I saw this article today and just pissed and shat all over myself with hilarity. Hey, someone needs to tell Netscape that people have to work over here and not shit and piss themselves over the insanely truthful and funny but endearing t-shirt lines! O.K.?! My mom called and she wants a box! Look what you did! You Netscape GUYS are the LIMIT! ::
Vintage Austin postcards, if you give a poop. ::
Enjoy glowing putty and a really dumb cow cartoon.
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:: August 9, 2003
Two photo-related links that you must see if you haven't already: Random Personal Picture Finder (above comes from a search for dscf0009.jpg, which comes from the same brand of camera that we have.)
And, a small but mighty collection of photos taken of people reacting to the photographer's van backfiring. ::
Words That Sound Dirty But Aren't, via lots of places. Don't forget all the fun we had with Linguistics Terms That Sound Dirty But Aren't. ::
:: August 8, 2003
I ripped this link off The Morning News website. Dr. Suess was in advertising before he was Dr. Suess.
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:: August 7, 2003
Hi. It's Animals in Space Week at my house, that time of year when I personally celebrate all of my furry, underfoot friends who go into space, throw up, freak out and then maybe die for my space-technology needs. Thanks, you guys! The Velcro and satellite television is great! I love the Sopranos! And you were no small part of that. Especially you, Gordo, The Squirrel Monkey. I'm pouring out AAALLLL my powdered banana-flavored protein meal shake on ya grave for ya, homey!
Excerpt from article describing Gordo the Squirrel Monkey's ordeal - "America turned away from preparing for human space flight for half a decade. In those years before NASA, the military focused on missiles as weapons. Laika re-focused the nation's attention on spaceflight. A year after her launch, the U.S. Army launched a squirrel monkey named Gordo aboard a Jupiter AM-13 booster on a suborbital flight on December 13, 1958. The monkey completed the flight up and down safely. However, during his recovery, a flotation device in the rocket's nose cone failed and Gordo died."
Damn. Sucks to be you, Gord, The Squirrel Monkey. But, hey, not all of them died. For example, one Ham, the chimp, survived a suborbital flight January 31, 1961 where he endured a weightless state for 1.7 minutes longer than he was supposed to. Poor Ham.
And, oh...What did Ham get paid for his trouble? A banana and an apple, of course. Maybe Ham should have hired an agent, but it was the sixties and everyone got screwed except the white pigs who got their own uniforms and commands. I feel ya Ham. What's a chimp gonna do? Little has changed. But you'll always be my hero, bro, especially during Animals In Space Week. One Love. ::
:: August 2, 2003
When I was younger, my mother wouldn't let my brother and me have pellet or BB guns. She was right in doing so, of course. The first time I laid my hands on my neighbor's BB gun, I turned it on my brother. As he ran down the street from me, I shot him in the back, twice. No honor. Not a second thought. I just wanted to shoot him, and that's all I knew. This was not the only instance in my childhood of my coldly inflicting pain on other kids. There were many more terrible crimes perpetrated by me as a boy (and some committed much later than that). I have my ideas about the psychology behind my actions. But honestly, I cannot fully explain them now. Maybe I was just a little murderer and that's all there is to it. Or maybe, you know, they deserved it because they were looking at me.
Since my brother and I were denied "real" guns, like pellet guns, we resorted to building rubber band guns. We made them from stool legs and bed slats, rulers and broom handles, all fashioned with clothes pins as triggers, of course. Some that we constructed were able to fire four or five rubber bands quickly, one after the other. Our richer friends had store-bought guns which never matched up to the firepower of our rigged guerilla pieces, probably so the manufacturers could avoid lawsuits. However, last night I saw this exception to the store-bought guns. It's a beauty. If I were eleven, I would cry and start saving my allowance, working weekends mowing the neighbor's lawn to get it. I'm thirty years old and part of me wants it more than health insurance. I fully realize that this makes me an official loser, and I'm O.K. with that.
"The turret effortlessly spins a full 360 degrees and tilts from 45 degrees up to 22 degrees down so you can easily keep a moving target in your sights, no matter how they run."
Oh, yes. "No matter how they run." It's art, is it not? Yes, I think so. I think it is.
Check out the rest of the site. They should just call it, You'llPokeYourEyeOut.com. ::
Celebrity Rants is somewhere in between Fametracker, The Smoking Gun, and Fanimutation. You have to pay little bits of money to hear the "premium" rants though. But, the Celebrity Buzz section is free. Forget pesky words! The hypnotizing, quivering needles let you know at a glance exactly how insufferable your favorite celebs are being this week. (Via April Winchell) ::
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